Rose Bowl vs. Rose Ceremony – A plea to Chris Harrison

3 Jan

Dear Chris,

I am writing to you on behalf of male football enthusiasts from all fifty states.  This evening, many of my beer-guzzling, wing-devouring compatriots and I were forced to make a decision we have been dreading for months: should we watch Russell Wilson and Darron Thomas battle it out in the Rose Bowl, or tune in to watch Ben F. tug at the heartstrings of 25 lovely women in the season premiere of The Bachelor?

On any normal day, ignoring gender roles and watching The Bachelor (or The Bachelorette, for that matter (or The Bachelor Pad, for that matter)) is easy.  We simply make fun of our girlfriends for wasting two hours of their Monday nights fawning over the Bachelor, as they critique each contestant’s dress, personality, hair, smile, laugh, or any other seemingly normal characteristic that is actually seriously wrong with these girls.  Unbeknownst to the world, we soak in the entire episode in its juicy glory, allowing chauvinistic, sensitive men like myself to fulfill our secret craving for love, fairy tale endings, and raw emotion.

However, on the day of the Rose Bowl, poking fun at our significant others while claiming “there’s nothing else on” just won’t cut it.  If we want to maintain any morsel of masculinity, we have no choice but to demand that we watch the Rose Bowl.  We can only hope that our girlfriends beg us to change channels over commercial breaks.  How are we supposed to draft our fantasy bachelor teams with female co-workers without such crucial information as “Does Jennifer L. have a tramp stamp” or “How many times has Kerry J. been divorced?”

Chris…you can spare us this pain.  All we ask is that you stop airing episodes of the Bachelor at the same time as Bowl games.  We want to watch Darron Thomas throw the game winner almost as much as we want to watch Ben F. scramble out of the blitz of loneliness.

In the meantime, I urge my male comrades to set aside the Budweiser, and reach for the chianti, because Ben F. has some hotties in this season.


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